LUC Quotes 2005-2006

I don't know if those outside of the LUC will appreciate this post as much as I do, but I'm doing it anyways. We started a quote board pretty much the first day we arrived and there are some great ones on there. Now the year is over and no more quotes. Of course all these are taken completely out of context and some just flat out won't make sense unless you were there. But they still make me laugh and I'm sure they always will. I won't include all of them, but several good ones. So for your enjoyment (or possibly boredom) here are some of the classics! They come not only from LUC members, but friends as well. (and by the way, the first quote from Keith was said one of the very first days when he barely knew the five women he was living with!)

"You can't have a good religion without oppressing women" -Keith

"Having 3 adolescents, I believe stoning should be brought back" -Susan

"No one uses vosotros with me!" -Emily B

"How do you know frogs don't have dreams?" -Maria "Maybe I was one" -Keith

"I don't know if it's the vodka or the talking, but I feel good" -Katie

"I'll find a girl, shove her in a windmill and we'll grow old together. She'll be happy there." -Chadd

"You weirdo, just tell me how your pretzel is" -Emily B to Keith

"I just want to slap something!" "Let's play war" -Emily G., Mennonite

"The problem is the Bible" -Andrea

"My shell's gonna be sweet!" -Emily while drawing a turtle

"You just lost me five million dollars!" -Maria to African kid, in her dream

"I AM a domestic goddess, man on man" -Katie

"Go to freakin' bed and leave me alone!" Keith to Maria

"I just remember my music teacher playing 'Proud to be an American' every week" -Emily "Oh, so you hated it?" -Andrea "Actually, I think I was the one who requested it" -Emily

"That's when I was like, man, she's kind of a silly girl" -Emily about Maria's handkerchief

"It's not the first time people have wanted to take a picture of my boobs" -Susan

"Alisa, weren't you the who told me you should allow yourself five minutes to freak out?"-Katie
"No, I believe that was Jack from 'Lost'" -Maria

"It's fun when trash smells weird" -Emily

"Can we just pray for God's sake!?" -Alisa

"I cook like a Mennonite woman" -Keith

"Country crock has changed my life here"-Emily two minutes later: "Country crock is a crock!"

"I hate it when people break wicks" -Emily "I'm a wick breaker!" -Katie

"You know I wasn't waving at your bitch!" -Emily B

"I'm going to make the perfect husband, oh lord" -Ben

"Sacrilege! That's what my life's all about!" -Emily

"I gotta say goodbye to my wives first" -Keith (referring to the rest of the house)

"The monks don't want to be sexually tempted by the nuns" -Keith

"I was herpes" -Andrea "You look like herpes" -Katie

"Emily is the most violent Mennonite known to mandkind" -Ian

"And that's my 'I just killed Maria' jig" -Keith

"Dude I'd totally have a union with you" -Brian to Moses

"Sometimes I like to pretend they are fish and I am spearing them" Katie (about pickles)

"If I was Jesus, I would make the flowers real for her......That's all I'd do" -Joel, on Katie's birthday

"The end. God is over." -Keith

"I've gotten to #5 with all my housmates!" -Keith, referring to the 12 steps of intimacy

*Warning: the following quote sounds really mean, but it was actually hilarious at the time (and of course very untrue)

"I'd say 'screw you', but everyone already has!" -Keith to Maria

"Do you wanna flip and I put out or you flip and I put out?" -Katie

"This is what drunk people do, isn't it?" -Maria

"I just closed the door on your hot thigh action" -Keith to Maria

"What the heck is this bus doing? Eating jelly beans?!" -4 year old girl during a traffic jam on TARC

"We're just being the sugar daddies" -Phil M.

"I wouldn't kill you" -Maria "But you killed Jesus" -Keith

"Did you see how it kept getting on me?" -Emily B., about plant

"I rode the short bus" -Maria

"I got stoned in middle school" -Emily

"Am I going to hurt you with an icepick, or hug you?" -Maria "Either one would be equally terrifying" -Keith

"I wouldn't date that tramp if you paid me!" -Keith regarding Maria

"I didn't know there were white people in Ohio!" -Somali boy

"All the escalator people were midgets!" -Emily

"Of course I went to a Catholic school so there was all kinds of hate going around" -Dan

"Everything about her is a scandal!" -Emily


Oh, what a great year! I miss it already. Even though most of those quotes are insulting me....but that's just Keith's sarcastic humor. And he once said he only insults people he thinks highly of...even though he didn't want me to know that! ha ha

Hope some of you appreciated this post!

More end of the year reflections to come later...